Did you guys see the sweet “promotional video” creative campus made for the Druid City Arts Fest? It has all the hallmarks of a sweet “promotional video”: footage lifted whole hog from another source without accreditation, some graphics tacked on at the end to make it a “promotional video” for the event that has nothing to do with the aforementioned lifted footage and of course as like all good “promotional videos” it has the watermark from the shareware software used to create the “promotional video”. Sweet. I understand why creative campus didn’t pony up $29.99 for iSkysoft software to make this “promotional video.” It’s not like there is anywhere on campus where a student could have created a “promotional video” using Final Cut pro and exported the file directly for youtube using that software or exported it in whatever format they liked then used Handbrake to transcode it for youtube. Nope, nothing like that on campus at all.
We Didn’t Even Read the Article
About this lady gettin cranked up on the yayo and abandoning her baby or something because we couldn’t make it past this photo:
It looks like it’s from a horror movie or a crabcore band video about being sad. Remember crabcore? Pepperidge Farm remembers motherfucker!
Thank You For Asking AL.com
Al.com just asked us what we think about that former teacher’s video apology for sex abuse?
Frankly AL.com we are skeeved the fuck out. We’re not skeeved out because an adult had sex with a child (actually we are because we are not of the “omg she’s a hot babe and every boy’s dream is to fuck a teacher and omg I wish a teacher had fucked me” school of thought b/c everyone who says that is very stupid, usually way older than 14 and viewing the situation through their experience and have completely forgotten how weird, scary and uncomfortable sexuality is at 14; much less when an adult exercises their power and invades that space), we’re skeeved out because some third wave nü christian church that probably does baptisms in a kiddie pool in front of a rock band has co-opted this whole thing.
This woman doesn’t need to be the face of this nü christian church. she needs serious psychological help.
Anyway, here’s the video. Ugh:
Jesus Christ Alabama
Must we do everything after everyone else and in drips and drabs? Everybody else is jumping on the marijuana bandwagon. Everybody. Are we? A state desperate for alternative income streams? A state that still hasn’t figured it the fuck out that sales tax is a fucking regressive tax and you need fucking property taxes that at least approach the goddamn national average fucking hell?????
Nope, because Alabama is a stupid, stupid, stupid state. Look how long it took for “high gravity” (by the way, can we drop this fucking term? we look real dumb using it. it’s craft beer.) beer and homebrewing. Won’t someone think of the children?
Anyway, someone is introducing a bill so this poor girl who has seizures can get a cannaboid oil that we’re assuming quells her seizures. We have to assume this because this piece of shit al.com article never actually states what the oil does for this poor little girl’s seizures. We’re guessing, and we have to guess because of this terrible writing, that it makes them less frequent. Jesus.
WHY WEREN’T WE CONSULTED CEEDUB??!?!?!?
Are you fucking kidding me with these educated guesses? These people are educators at this institution? They have to be trolling right? Let’s look at the guesses:
Ok, the 3-d printing one isn’t so bad, it’s a little obvious but it’s not completely retarded like the rest of these. Let’s move on.
Myspace? Aahahahahah, this dood thinks Myspace is coming back. The best part about this is the last sentence: “and they’re looking at new things.” By new things he means something that died seven years ago. LOL. The kids already have new shit. They’re already sending each other pictures of they’re undeveloped nether regions and using whatever bullshit we can’t even begin to understand yet. They want streamlined, simple communication; not the bloated bullshit of Facebook. Oh wait, maybe it does make sense that they’ll go back to Myspace now….lol.
Marijuana legalization will slow? You wish sister. Now that Colorado has finally been the first state to actually decriminalize it as a recreational drug, we’re only gonna see more “medical” marijuana and more states inching toward full legalization.
Who are these people!?!?!?!?!?!? My god CeeDub, consult an expert next time.
This Old Try T-shirt is daaaaaaaaaaaaank
Seriously. Look at it. I want to wear it with nothing but a snug, and supporting, pair of crisp tighty whiteys while I saunter around campus sipping on a beverage.
I was so close to buying this thing till I almost paid $8 for shipping on a t-shirt and there was no paypal payment option. Sup with that Old Try????
Awww, This Column is Adorable
You guys, Kyle Jones was highly disappointed by the Wolf of Wall Street. Why? Because it was a bad movie? Doesn’t seem that way. Because he didn’t care for the casting? Doesn’t seem that way. Nope, he was perturbed because the characters had no plan!
Also they did lots of drugs:
It was three hours of wannabe Wall Street big shots taking enough drugs to anesthetize the Eastern Seaboard, screwing every hooker they could find and devoting themselves solely to debauchery and the pursuit of money. No vision, no goal, no plan. Instead, it was just some hard-partying fools trying to sustain the high.
Kyle has clearly never met anyone who works in finance. Newsflash dood, I’m pretty sure you get an eight ball when you get a job in finance. It’s like pledging here, except with cocaine.
I’m not sure what the rest of this column is about. It seems to be some half-remembered Fox News rhetoric (every kid gets a trophy now! it’s makin em gay!) and some really cute idealism written by someone who has never gone hungry a day in their life and probably drives a new car mommy and daddy bought him, daawwwwwwwwwwww.
The Season is Over
But the music of Scott Cochran lives forever:
Skip to 1:27 for the serious jams
Oh Goodie
Not a year, hell a month, goes by without someone trying to write some roll tide song that is an obvious attempt at exposure and cashing in. Here’s the newest one. Takes about 1:22 until tornado porn shows up. Yay.
Here are some better songs:
(fuck, i actually sorta like this one)
What Does This Mean AJ?!?!??!
Seriously, someone explain this:
“I’m a huge Yankees fan, and I said I would never go to New York unless I was invited for the Heisman or for draft day,” McCarron said. “So one of those dreams came true. It’s just a cool moment to be a part of.”
What? Why? Why the fuck wouldn’t you go to New York if you’re a HUGE Yankees fan? Too urban? Too many bagel shops? AJ splain this, srsly.
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