Monthly Archives: June 2013

Ferocious Beast Put Down in Northport

This story is frustrating on so many levels that I don’t even want to post it.

So let’s review: Northport cop shoots pit because it’s a pit.
Why the fuck was the dog out in the first place?
Why the fuck does everybody in the comments think it’s ok to let their goddamn dog live in their goddamn yard?
Why are Alabamians such fuckheads about dogs? Oh I won’t let my dog greet your dog when we’re walking, I’ll just move off the sidewalk and let it bark like a fucking lunatic. Now your dog is barking too, see, that’s what they’re supposed to do you fucking idiot just let them sniff each other’s asses and we’ll both move on.

GET YOUR FUCKING ANIMALS NEUTERED ALABAMA FUCKING HELL.

Sorry, the animal situation in this state is fucking appalling and an embarrassment. But, we’ll just add it to the list won’t we?

If you like dogs, you should probably call Northport Police Chief Kerry (hehe, he has a lady name) Card and let him know you think this is bullshit: (205) 339-6600


face of a killer

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What About the Brain?!?!?!?

LOL, Gun Nuts:

Huntsville man trips with handgun, accidentally shoots pinky

We’re here all week folks.

Gonna Be Ugly When This Hits Al.com

Jezebel has a post today about the all male cheer leading team, Prancing Elites, from Mobile. Gurl, they are fabulous. I shutter to think of what’s going to happen when Al.com realizes this is getting hits on a big site and posts it to their own to bait their audience.

Saban House

Have you seen Nick Saban’s house?!??!? Jiminy Christmas, it’s huge and appears to be feature some sort of new construction/Toll brothers interpretation of a lighthouse. Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Does it have an O’Charley’s in it? Now, if you’re really a Tide fan you can actually buy the cranky one’s house June 27. Just think about how you could ruin this tranquil setting by plastering that sumbitch with Daniel Moore prints.

The big questions now are: does anybody know where he stay at in Tuscaloosa? And does this mean him and Miss Terry are going to be permanent full-time Tuscaloosa residents???

Update: Here’s a link to the actual auction.

Is it me, or is the aesthetic in this place confused as fuck? It’s like Miss Terry was like “well, I’d like you to make it part huntin’ lodge and part Tower of London torture chamber.”

all this for $10.95 Million dollars.

Summer Employment

Get that money.

I really only wanted to post get that money and let this Craigslist post speak for itself. But whatever. Here is a creepy as fuck Craigslist post in the “jobs” section. We think we know what kind of “jobs” are gonna be involved here, heeeeeyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sugardaddy Looking For Sugarbaby 48 (Tuscaloosa)
Looking for a UA STUDENT who would like a SD/SB type relationship. I would prefer a long term situation until you graduate. Not looking to control or dominate your life. Must be discreet!!! Please respond with what you would expect out of it and a picture. Please include ROLL TIDE in subject line.

Location: Tuscaloosa
Compensation: To be discussed later
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Who would post such a thing??? We have one guess

Are You In Town This Weekend? Did You Survive the Flood!

Holy shit, how ’bout that rain last night?

Anyway, are you still in town? You should go to this Friday night:

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Art! Music! Free! In Tuscaloosa!

Alabama’s Famous Again, for Doing Something Stupid

Well, it’s been a good few months since Alabama decided it needed to grab the national spotlight like your uncle Dave, drunk and high, at Thanksgiving ranting about the Jews and the Illuminati.

We made the front page of Reddit today because Escambia Academy denied a Native American girl her diploma for wearing a feather to graduation. Nice.

I guess we should be happy that this segregation academy is allowing people of color to show up at all, right? C’mon for fucks sake, give the girl her diploma so she can go to college and be properly offended when asshole frat stars have an “indians” or “homeless” party because indigenous peoples and the mentally ill are hilars guize, lol.

What the Fucking Fuck Alabama?

Have you heard about the six doods charged with prostituting a 15-year-old runaway? Shit is fucked.

While this story is completely fucked, I couldn’t help but notice one of the charges whilst reading said fucked story: second degree sodomy.

I’m sorry, what? Sodomy? Surely that has to be some weird Alabamian rape charge right? Can’t just be sodomy can it? States don’t have sodomy laws do they?

Oh, they do. Here are the highlights from Alabama’s:

(2) DEVIATE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Any act of sexual gratification between persons not married to each other involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another.
(3) SEXUAL CONTACT. Any touching or the sexual or other intimate parts of a person not married to the actor, done for the purpose of gratifying the sexual desire of either party.

WHAT?!?!?!? So basically, in Alabama, it’s illegal to have any gay sex, illegal to get a beej if you’re not married and illegal to have buttsecks??? Oh, this applies to consensual acts too folks.

Alabama, you are one backward motherfucker (though this is probably legal if you stick to the veej and marry the her).