Monthly Archives: September 2013

Now That We’ve Fixed Racism

Can we get some of the goddamn bike racks back already?

Christ white people, let’s get moving on this. Good job on fixing the racism and everything, you should all be proud. But let’s get down to the brass tacks. We need the bike racks back dammit!

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So About This Whole Block Seating Thing

Anybody wanna bet there are gonna be hordes of boys in color coordinated polos and dad jeans, or, even worse, their grandpas’ blazers, at the game early to make sure that the greeks still get their seats?? Yeah I think so.

Also, pro tip for the new boys: that little tag at your wrist, the one that says calvin klein, or whatever label those awful, ill-fitting blazers are?? Yeah, go ‘head and rip those off.

Step up your game gents.

Nooooooooooooooooooo MacWebb, Nooooooooooooooo

UPDATE: The Webb half of MacWebb has spoken!!

Folks, it has happened, Alabama’s Camelot, the JFK and Jackie of Tuscaloosa, have split. We don’t even know what to do. How could you AJ?

Katherine, 24, and 23-year-old Crimson Tide player A. J.’s break-up comes after rumours earlier this year that he cheated on her with 21-year-old Margaret Wood.

For this trollop Margaret Wood? Her twitter name is SwagPrincess. Swag. Princess.

Oh AJ.

We just don’t know anything anymore. We’re gonna go comfort eat six things of barbecue nachos now.

Also, AJ is tweeting with the Donald now. C’mon AJ, the tattoos are douchey enough, but we can forgive them. Tweeting with the Donald? No sir. No sir, indeed.

Now For Something Good

This Vine was posted to Katherine Webb’s twitter. We don’t don’t know who cousin Terio is, but we love him and it looks like he’s wearing a UA polo. Goddamn, this kid. Ooh, ooh.

That Word Does Not Mean What I Think You Think It Means

Ceedub. And that word is nuance. Samaria Johnson’s letter to the editor is about lots of stuff. Nuance, however, is nowhere to be found. Still, it’s a good read that everybody would do well to read and think about. We don’t buy into the fatalistic tone of it (weird, right?) but we still think everyone should read it.

It’s sickeningly cute that while all of the white people are busy doing their self-congratulatory kumbaya dance in celebration of the so-called desegregation of the white greek system, all of them conveniently forget that the The University of Alabama already has an integrated greek system. While powerful and moneyed white kids frolicked away in blissful ignorance until a couple of black girls took their funny mirrors away, the Divine Nine and other multicultural social organizations on campus have always welcomed their melanin-challenged classmates into their spaces. “We’re not racist! See? We have black kids in our frats and sororities!” white greeks will say now, as if they actually deserve national news for being dragged kicking and screaming into the Social Justice 101 classroom.

In All of This, Let’s Not Forget

We’re all very excited that Judy Bonner has a black friend now. We’re even more excited that it’s the Cos. What we’re not excited about is that Judy Bonner forgot to credit the Tusk for bringing the Cos to UA:

Never forget: September 13, the day the Tusk brought the Cos to Tuscaloosa.

Former Student Leaders Buy CeeDub Ad!!!!

To speak out against segregation. But the real story here is how much they paid:

Kenneth Mullinax says he and 17 other former campus leaders pooled $1,000 to purchase a newspaper ad supporting integration of both white and black Greek-letter groups.

It costs ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS to run an ad in the Ceedub? Did they buy an entire section?

Also Kenneth, stop being a cunt, if you know anything about traditionally black frats/sororities you know they are integrated and I am so fucking tired of people saying “but they have their own frats and sororities” because it’s a stupid fucking argument and means nothing. Goddammit.

Papa Saban Knows How Old Y’all Are, Right?

Nick Saban wrote a letter to the students. We’re assuming this means university students, but this thing reads like a letter from Santa Clause:

First of all, I hope everyone had a great summer break

We have some very exciting home games on the schedule this season

Did You Make It to the Judy Bonner Dance Party, errrr, Protest?

Well did you? Did you dance? Did anyone get tear gassed? Why the fuck was it at the ass crack of dawn? Did you have a grounds use permit!?!?!?!

Tomorrow Morning!

What are you doing? You should be doing this:

Join us tomorrow for Stand in the Schoolhouse Door 2013!
Tomorrow, at 7:15 a.m. in front of the Gorgas, over 500 student will assemble to protest ongoing campus segregation.

You can be part of it.
You are invited to join us at a March beginning at 7:15 a.m. at the foot of the Gorgas Library steps, and ends at Rose Administration building.

The Stand in the Schoolhouse Door of 2013 will be a collaborative effort from all parts of campus to stand up together against the racism on our campus. We hope that this will be the last time a stand is needed to integrate this campus. At this time, we need a university–from students to faculty to administrators–that no longer just stands aside, but stand up for what is right.

Do they have a grounds use permit? God I fuckin hope they don’t.