Awww, This Column is Adorable

You guys, Kyle Jones was highly disappointed by the Wolf of Wall Street. Why? Because it was a bad movie? Doesn’t seem that way. Because he didn’t care for the casting? Doesn’t seem that way. Nope, he was perturbed because the characters had no plan!

Also they did lots of drugs:

It was three hours of wannabe Wall Street big shots taking enough drugs to anesthetize the Eastern Seaboard, screwing every hooker they could find and devoting themselves solely to debauchery and the pursuit of money. No vision, no goal, no plan. Instead, it was just some hard-partying fools trying to sustain the high.

Kyle has clearly never met anyone who works in finance. Newsflash dood, I’m pretty sure you get an eight ball when you get a job in finance. It’s like pledging here, except with cocaine.

I’m not sure what the rest of this column is about. It seems to be some half-remembered Fox News rhetoric (every kid gets a trophy now! it’s makin em gay!) and some really cute idealism written by someone who has never gone hungry a day in their life and probably drives a new car mommy and daddy bought him, daawwwwwwwwwwww.

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