Monthly Archives: October 2012

Signs of Alabama in Afghanistan

This is a headline! I know what you’re thinking, this is probably a column in some liberal communist lefty rag comparing the religious zealotry and myopia in Alabama to the Taliban or something because that’s totes what I thought it was because when you think about it there ain’t much different between the steers and queers set and burka bangers (by this I mean to bastardize gangbangers so as not to imply any smear on oppressed women) when you get right down to it, it’s the same rigidity of thought based on invisible sky daddies that guide both groups.

But really, this is just an article about flags.



Sororities Get in on the Embarrassment

UPDATE: See the pic below.

Hypothetical situation: What happens when you take a bunch of upper middle class white kids with access to daddy’s credit card, no sense of personal responsibility, a lifetime of entitlement and being told they’re special little flowers every day?

Shit like this is exactly what happens:

From an email sent to Capstone Alliance members:

This past weekend the Kappa Delta sorority on Magnolia Drive hosted a Halloween event (possibly in conjunction Homecoming over the weekend) that included a an elaborate yard display that included a sign — in the shape of a tombstone — upon which the text “Freshmen Die of Being Dodgeball Dikes” was written.

Way to misspell dykes braintrust. Now, I’ve seen party pictures of homeless themed parties (classy) and indian parties and of course we’ve all seen blackface photos from years past. This shit is nothing new. It’s incredibly stupid and awful. It’s even stupider when you take into account that these racist clubs are under the microscope right now. Anyone have this picture? Anyway, here’s the full statement from Capstone Alliance to the admin:

Official Statement:
Over Halloween weekend, members of the university community
used anti-gay hate speech as part of their Halloween activities. Hate
speech of any kind is not tolerated under university policies, and
sexual orientation is protected by the university’s anti-discrimination
policies. However, these official stances do not prevent instances of
hurtful behavior, both verbal and physical, by members of the UA
community towards their LGBTQ+ and allied friends, neighbors, faculty,
staff or fellow students.
Capstone Alliance, representing faculty, staff, and
graduate students who identify as LGBTQ+ and those who identify as
allies of equal rights and protections for this population, as well as
Safe Zone, the university’s only resource fully dedicated to LGBTQ+
outreach and education, condemn the use of hate speech and call for a
swift, effective response from the university.
That the event occurred in residential space does not
remove the university from accountability; it was perpetrated by and
directed at university community members who reside on university
property. That the event is connected to Greek organization does not
warrant a hands-off response from the university; all student groups
are held to the same Code of Conduct and non-discrimination policies.
That the event was part of Halloween “fun” does not sanction a casual
response to the pain and humiliation and injustice suffered by these
careless actions.
Capstone Alliance members, Safe Zone allies, and all our
supporters on campus ask that the university, from the highest levels
down, address the harm done by this insensitive prank. We also call for
meaningful, lasting, impactful programs and actions to address
ignorance and intolerance related to LGBTQ+ persons in our community.

Never forget:

More Proof that Alabama is Always 7 Years Behind Everything

Remember when cupcakes were a big deal? No? Me neither because it was like 10 fucking years ago in civilized parts of the country. In news no one cares about or ever did today, posted the winner of something called the Best Little Cupcake in Alabama, which I can only imagine is a nod to the 1978 Burt Reynolds/Dolly Parton Masterpiece, the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Awesome.

Anyway, someone won this dumb thing. Keep an eye out for the 2018 Best Frozen Yogurt Cannonball Run.

Umm, Wut?

I swear, sometimes I think are either clueless or the most brilliant trolls ever. I can never decide.

Did you see this mugshot they posted today?

Marie Antoinette here was convicted on robbery charges for stealing “money, a cell phone and drinks.” Get that Faygo girl. Get it.

Listen Up Children

Before I start, I want to make it very clear that this post is not meant in any way to slag the CeeDub and their coverage of the whole Hazing Apocalypse 2012. I think they’ve been doing a bang up job.

But, all of you who are sitting around in your neon tanktops and fishing shirts and weeping softly into your spit cups in your F750 pickups need to STFU that this is somehow the CW’s “fault.”

It’s very simple, it’s really just a mathematical equation for the school. Do you really think the school would piss off that many potential donors if shutting down pledgeship wasn’t in their best interests? Do you?

Here, let me do some guzintas for you:

Potential donations by greeks < potential liability if some kid dies or gets seriously injured because of your dumb shit + loss of tuition, state funds, other $$, intangible dollars related to bad press.

You see, when the dollar figures outweigh the potential dollars they won't get from pissed off greeks the admin shuts shit down.

Also, shut up about the call in line being "anonymous" or the CW using "anonymous" sources. The hotline has to be anonymous so you aholes don't beat the crap out of or ostracize a whistleblower. Have you read a newspaper? Anonymous sources are a valued and protected way to get information. Google deepthroat. Watch the porn, then read about the other one.

High fives to the Crimson White, high fives to whoever convinced former Frat Bro Tim Hebson that maybe there is a problem with all this "male bonding."

Hi Crimson White

Can you update the opinions section on the web site please? I have a few free minutes and I’d like to post today. Please and thank you.