Monthly Archives: July 2013

If We’ve Learned Anything Today

It is that the Webb half of MacWebb has never actually read Romeo and Juliet. We know this because she said this:

Katherine Webb on A. J. McCarron: “People Call Us the Romeo and Juliet of Alabama

She knows how that play ends right?

Anyway, if you want further proof that neither of these kids is a budding rocket scientist, check out this Vine of them making out while AJ bombs down 59*. Brilliant.

*this is a guess.

Mmmmmm, Macwebb


(it’s a duck burger people, think about it for a second)

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The CeeDub Hasn’t Made Me Facepalm This Hard in a While

Listen CeeDub, it’s summer, I get it, things are slow. You’re running pieces about protein shakes and how people drink them and you’re probably lol’ing about how stupid most of this summer fluff is (I’m looking at you piece about how the campus has a radio station.)

But this is just ridiculous:

For-profit news industry not avoidable

This is a column about the “FOR PROFIT” news industry and how it is a UNIQUELY MODERN SITUATION. I’m sorry, this was written by a SENIOR! A senior! Are we really asserting here that news organizations are operating “for profit” and this is a new thing? We can’t be right? We understand that news outlets have always been for profit right? We know that right???!?!?!??!

This can’t possibly be a column about how this is a new trend.

It can’t.

Tell me it’s not.

Motherfucker, I’ve read it three times (ok, skimmed it).

I think it is.

Fuuuuuuuuckckkkkk. Who edited this thing?

Who is responsible!?!?!?!?

Hearst Castle would like to have a fucking word with you

For the uneducated, Hearst was a bazillionaire at the turn of the century from fucking newspapers. I just, I just, I don’t even understand. Do people think news outlets were nonprofits before? I mean, we understand that news existed before CNN right?? I’m pretty sure even goddamn Gutenberg was just trying to get paid. Damn son.

So This Exists

UA Cologne. God help us. What does this smell like? I’m imagining a subtle melange of Drakkar Noir with top notes of barbecue sauce finishing with floral after notes of Mosquito Truck mist.

credit to @WesleyVaughn for finding.

A Poem – By Jessie Williams

Here is a poem by Jessie Williams, composed of his tweets:

Sushi time!
Back to the movies to see Wolverine.
Bout to check out the Conjuring.
Lost all Phone Numbers!!!
Everything Happens for a Reason

The Old Vanishing Act.
Trying to Remember the People I followed
Forgot the pain of being stopped by the train
Great Late Night Workout With My Bros
Getting this Work done
Getting my mind right

Come see me
Come see me
Come see me
Come see me

thamonster.

We didn’t say it was a good poem.

Football Season Football Season

Is almost here, omg. We get excited for this every year because it gives us an excuse to troll Etsy and Ebay for vintage Bama shirts. Now, we understand that the preferred method of dress among a large segment of the student body skews toward your first Bud Light Cotillion; but we like old Bama shirts. So, here are some for you:

I’m tempted to bulk up on barbecue nachos just so’s I can fit into this:

Pure 90’s magic on this sweatshirt:

90’s graphic designers were the worst. We would buy this one, but we’re scared of that triangle. Looks like some Illuminati shit.

OMG, this one has nothing to do with football, but it’s awesome.

More 90’s awfulness. Garfield y’all, Garfield.

Ignore the way they pinned this one back on the mannequin, embrace the awesome:

LOOK AT THESE FONTS THAT MAKE NO SENSE TOGETHER!

Whether you decide to wear red slacks emblazoned with lil elephants or, you know, dress like you’re actually in your 20’s this season, it’s gonna be a good year folks.

Are You Getting Excited Yet?

can you feel it in the air? can you feel it in the air tonight? no? no, motherfuckers? crank up this youtube, feel it in the air:

I said crank it up. Is it cranked up? Good. Now you can feel it. You can feel it in the air tonight, as it were.

Can you feel it now? Can you feel the U-haul trucks rumbling down 15th street? Can hear the trucks? Listen to them, the trucks from America’s biggest breweries bringing shitty beer into town before the horde arrives, because they are coming deer friends, in orange trucks and in yellow and in Suburbans and rented vans and an H2 or two, make no mistake, they are coming. They are coming in tempo shorts and croakies, fleet of foot and slow of mind they are coming to tan and drink smoothies and they might do both at the same time because this here’s ‘Murica. They are coming to squeal and pin, they are coming make comments they don’t understand are racist and to whine about their privilege, they are coming to cruise their strip, go mud ridin to cruise again.

Fucking hell people, they are coming back.