This Article Couldn’t Be More Tuscaloosa If It Tried

Ok, if it had barbecue ribs in it somewhere, maybe:

Tuscaloosa Police to enforce lawn code in tornado recovery areas

Yes, yes, that’s what the areas that still show the affects of the tornado need…lawn maintenance. Good on you Tuscaloosa, you are really tackling the disparity between areas that are now fully realized, very shitty, student housing, and the areas in Alberta that still look like they were hit last week.

But wait, but wait:

Officers who find violations will notify owners and allow seven days for the problem to be corrected, Blankley said. After a week, the city will hire a contractor to cut the vegetation.

Aww, well, that’s nice.

The offender would then be required to pay the contractor fee, which associate city attorney Jimbo Woodson said is usually around $90. Some violators, usually repeat offenders, are summoned to court, Woodson said. Those violators could receive a fine up to $500 and up to six months in jail.

Well shit. Maybe if these people don’t show up to court we can just repossess the land and build EVEN MOAR CONDOS!

Also, you catch the name of that associate city attorney? Jimbo. His name is Jimbo. He is a grown man, with a JD. And his name is Jimbo.


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