What the Fucking Fuck Alabama?

Have you heard about the six doods charged with prostituting a 15-year-old runaway? Shit is fucked.

While this story is completely fucked, I couldn’t help but notice one of the charges whilst reading said fucked story: second degree sodomy.

I’m sorry, what? Sodomy? Surely that has to be some weird Alabamian rape charge right? Can’t just be sodomy can it? States don’t have sodomy laws do they?

Oh, they do. Here are the highlights from Alabama’s:

(2) DEVIATE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Any act of sexual gratification between persons not married to each other involving the sex organs of one person and the mouth or anus of another.
(3) SEXUAL CONTACT. Any touching or the sexual or other intimate parts of a person not married to the actor, done for the purpose of gratifying the sexual desire of either party.

WHAT?!?!?!? So basically, in Alabama, it’s illegal to have any gay sex, illegal to get a beej if you’re not married and illegal to have buttsecks??? Oh, this applies to consensual acts too folks.

Alabama, you are one backward motherfucker (though this is probably legal if you stick to the veej and marry the her).

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