For Fuck’s Sake Tuscaloosa

Someone Really had to ask this?

Has anyone been to the new Cheddar’s yet?

Tried to go the other night but it looked slammed. Wondering how the food/service/atmosphere is.

I’ve never been to a Cheddars, but I’m thinking I can probably answer this question having never set foot inside: The atmosphere is dimly lit with wacky shit on the wall. There might be wheels on the chairs, a la Olive Garden, so your fupa doesn’t bind up against the table when you’re strappin on your feed bag. The waitstaff wears some sort of stripe, probably green and white if I had to guess. The food is mediocre white people food that probably borrows a few adjectives/ingredients from approachable ethnic food to make it feel wacky (Try our Chipotle Mac and Cheese Zingers!). The food is just a bit over priced just to make it feel fancy. The menu has pictures. So stock up on insulin and put on your eatin pants because Tuscaloosa has another shitty chain restaurant to take your best gal out to before you drive her home and have missionary sex while watching Trace Adkin videos.

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One thought on “For Fuck’s Sake Tuscaloosa

  1. Anaan says:

    Remember how everyone went nuts over Gigi’s sawdust cakes when it first opened? yep.

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