This Wasn’t On the Syllabus!

When it’s a slow news day in Alabammer (which is pretty much every day) we usually end up trolling youtubes for Alabamians embarrassing themselves, then reddit/r/captsone, then we eventually find ourselves on the southern wasteland of Craigslist – get your shit together people, start using craigslist, it’s free!

Anyhoo, we stumbled upon this listing (warning: dongs be thar at link) today (added emphasis ours):

UA Prof looking to suck students – m4m – 39 (Tuscaloosa/N’port)

Me: Late thirties professional man, straight acting, 5 feet 11 inches, 280 lbs (if that’s a problem, go on to the next ad), six inches cut. Dark brown hair, blue eyes. Former fraternity at Alabama, and still act the same way. No one would ever guess, and discretion is both assured and expected. I teach classes at UA in addition to my professional day job.

You: 18-24, white, student at UA, with your own place on campus or nearby in Tuscaloosa, straight acting. Guys with girlfriends and esp. fraternity guys to the front.

What I’m looking for: I want to suck you dry before or after class, or sometime mutually convenient. You can reciprocate (I’d prefer it, of course), but don’t have to. One-time things are possible, but I’d really prefer an ongoing FWB situation.

HMU, guys. Roll Tide!

The big question is, of course, is this guy gonna forgive absences or give extra credit??? C’mon dood.


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