Well fuck. Wrote this earlier today and never posted it. Go go go, you still have time!!!!!!!!!!
Do you enjoy rubbing shoulders with the unwashed masses who probably have a dog called Bear, a tattoo of something houndstooth somewhere, absolutely have Alabama vanity plates and say stupid things like “I want my country back” and actually think they mean it?
Then you, good sir, are in luck because today you can have your picture taken with the National Championship trophy down at the local family Wal Mart Store. Nothing, to me anyway, says collegiate success and striving like the old Wal Mart. It really is a monument to higher learning. Hell, let’s start having all university related functions there, that’s what I say. Commencement, fuck yeah. We can have Lester the greeter play “Celebrating Achievement” over the loud speaker and everything!