Dear God CW.

Hipsters? Really? Hipsters?

Sigh, I get that it’s Alabama and we’re always 10 years behind; but seriously you guys, this argument, or whatever it is, has been hashed out in big cities, where actual “hipsters” live, and has been settled since before Animal Collective released that one album or something. This word means nothing and anyone who is still debating it is ridiculous. Actually it does mean something, it’s a general fucking empty term to describe someone who looks like they have spent some time living in a large city where lots of people ride bikes; whether they have or not. That’s it. And it’s dumb. And as far as “hipsters” here thinking they are better than run of the mill frat folks, guess what: they are. They at least have the balls to stop dressing like their fucking parents and probably listen to NPR and maybe have an itunes library that contains songs with lyrics that aren’t about “bein a goddamn usa lovin country pig fucking sumbitch.” Anyway, this shit’s dumb.

Why haven’t you guys impounded Sorelle Wyckoff’s computer yet? Seriously, why do you let her continue to “write” for the paper. Mother of God, at least edit her. I just can’t even begin to imagine the face the editor over there makes every time she turns something in. What the fuck does this even mean?

Tuscaloosa is so fabulous sometimes it overwhelms me. This is a deep-south college campus that has more David Yurman rings and Mercedes in one condensed area than the nearby country club. But I don’t mind the culture some students bring: high-fashion-esque outfits mixed with a southern drawl make a delicious combination irresistible to outsiders.

Also, are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen the way people on this campus dress? It’s a goddamn sartorial nightmare and nothing about Alabama is irresistible to outsiders. But it’s ok, because all this nonsense is in the service of setting up a hard hitting story on some news people really care about: cover charges and why bars charge them on game days. Take a fucking Econ 101 class before you write something like this. Arrrghghghghghgg.

Yet while Tuscaloosa’s night life is admittedly impressive, I have never been able to justify paying $20 to enter one of our bars – $5 or $10 is even pushing it.

Oh child, Tuscaloosa’s night life is a joke. Sure if you like shitty cover bands and terrible top 40 dj’s with names like DJ Bear Bryant and DJ Houndstooth and DJ 14 National Championships, then you’re in heaven. But otherwise, it’s garbage. The beer is cheap is really all that ever needs to be said about Tuscaloosa’s night life.


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