If This Person Weren’t So Stupid

They’d be a goddamn genius. I’m talking about this opinion piece on bikes in the CeeDub (no word on what wife of who ordered this piece to be run.)

I mostly agree with this, and therein lies the problem. This is such shitty writing that I’m actually annoyed about something I agree with. There’s also a lot of dumb shit in this. Por ejemplo:

The question is: do bikes really get you to class faster?

Yes, yes, they do you fucking twit. You see, bikes move faster than peoples. Also, it’s decent exercise (working under the assumption that bikers are riding from home instead of whatever lot you parked in that is .5 miles from class and you still insist on bitching about.) Also, bikes don’t have that pesky carbon emission problem.

Have you ever seen your life flash before your eyes as a bike quickly maneuvers around you from behind? Are you a victim of assault by bike? You are not alone!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Who edited this alarmist piece of shit with these dumb questions? Fucking hell. My head’s gonna explode. I need to go bite a rolled up towel for at least the next 42 minutes.

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2 thoughts on “If This Person Weren’t So Stupid

  1. What I love is that the second quote answers the first. Do bikes get you to class faster? Well, if they’re passing you from behind then yes, actually, they do.

  2. anaan says:

    Can you believe the person who wrote this is a senior?

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