Let’s Put on Our Tinfoil Hats

For a minute. Remember when we woke up Wednesday in the Gay Weed Smokin Lesbian Senator Eat a Dick Todd Akin States of America? No, of course you don’t because you woke up in a state so overrun with mouthbreathing jethros who pulled the straight Mittens ticket that Roy Moore actually won. Anyway, remember a few weeks ago when UA finally looked like it might be willing to take a forward step or two by telling the Racist Drinking Clubs to STFU and shut it down?

It was glorious. Former Racist Drinking Club member Tim Hebson was all like “there is nothing to see here!!!!” Then Guy Bailey with his sweet white beard came in sorta like some glorious mish-mash of Ned Stark and Santa Clause and was all like “Uh uh. Your time is over. Your time was over 60 years ago dickheads.”

Then Bailey left.

At the time, it was hard to question a dood’s motivation. His lady was sick. But, now that we are all united under the Judy Bonner dance party all the time, the question must be asked: how much of Guy Bailey’s Fratbusting lead to his “decision” to leave? And was the dance party started because we all know that Bonner is just a Witt lackey in Little Orphan Annie clothing?

Turns out I’m not the only one asking these questions. Here’s a bit of an email circulated among backwater faculty channels:

I am simply surprised by the swift choice and would like to know why she was deemed the best candidate for the job and, indeed, whether there were any other candidates. I may be wrong on this, so please correct me if I am, but I had thought that when Dr. Bonner was named the interim president last time around, it was understood that the interim president would be ineligible to serve as the permanent president. I appreciate that there was an intervening event, but if there was no new search I would like to know whether and why there was an apparent change in policy. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that some faculty members, and other members of the university community, might have considered Dr. Bonner well-suited to serve as interim president but not well-suited for a permanent appointment to the office of university president.

What Dr. Bonner’s position is on policies and programs until recently undertaken by President Bailey, including support for Arts and Sciences, efforts to monitor and correct potential abuses within our Greek system, and other issues.

Are we moving back while the rest of the country moves forward? Yes, this is Alabama, we are always, always moving back.

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2 thoughts on “Let’s Put on Our Tinfoil Hats

  1. anaan says:

    Nailed it, as usual.

  2. “No, of course you don’t because you woke up in a state so overrun with mouthbreathing jethros who pulled the straight Mittens ticket that Roy Moore actually won.” — I realized he’d won and was wondering what the fuck happened myself. Your little aside splains it all. Thank you!

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