Beasts of the Southern Wild Tonight

If you’ve got a friend who wears tight pants, they’ve probably already told you about “Beasts of the Southern Wild.”

Well it’s playing tonight and for $6 you can get your hipster punchcard punched at the Bama Theatre. This one’s supposed to be a tear jerker, so bring you kaffiyeh. Ok, I don’t even know why I went all hipster on this post, my jeans fit too. Maybe I’m just hurting inside from all the secret scorn from the bangs-ed masses here. Maybe I too want to wear Sperrys. Maybe I too want to pretend to think dubstep is edgy and interesting. Maybe I too want to take drugs and go to a night at a bar called a “rave.” Maybe I too want to learn how to do a dance that will also come in handy should I need to churn butter some day. Maybe I secretly yearn for a lifted Jeep Grand Cherokee and a Salt Life bumper sticker. Maybe what I really want is to go to a baptist church and punch my friend in the arm and call him a homo, but you know I’m not really homophobic, I liked a Lady Gaga song in high school.

Wow, this one really went off the rails. Go see the movie, it’s supposed to be fantastic.

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