Tuscaloosa News Sound Off!

The Tuscaloosa News publishes a thing called “Sound Off’ every once in a while. As best as I can tell, these snippets of authentic frontier gibberish and white paranoia are transcripts of voice mail messages. I think. I think this because someone told me once that such a thing existed. I’ll be damned if I can confirm any of this, though. I can’t find this mythical phone number anywhere.

You should read these things though. They’re kind of amazing, hysterical and use the word “folks” like a motherfucker. In honor of their unintentional wisdom, I’ve decided to compose a found po-em of snippets from various Sound Offs:

Romney has been laughing,
Obama had been,
pounding on him.

the power to act as death panels,
persistent till you obtain a birth,
shooting. Very well done, indeed.

I went to WalMart, then over to Sam’s this morning.
How can people be so cruel?
folks are going to be afraid to go anywhere,
is America, not a third-world country

When are the laws going to put a stop to this type of violence?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: