Sigh. What is the SEC to do this season? What very, very stupid human being will give himself a nickname that is based on a meme that is at 14:45? We don’t know anything about football or really care about sports beyond using them as an excuse to get drunk before lunch and treat stadiums like really expensive bars; but we’re going to offer some suggestions to save this season:
AJ “Call Me Maybe” McCarron – you know this guy probably drives some sort of convertible VW and loves this song.
Darrin “Success Kid” Kitchens – he’s married and plays for Florida or something.
Marshall “Bad Luck Bryan” Morgan – i’m literally googling “SEC Football Team” then looking at Reddit. This is the nadir of blog posting, these are not jokes, these are not funny, but then again neither is every joke being made about Tyrann Mathieu on Twitter. When 94.1 ZBQ is at the vanguard of something “funny”, it is officially time to look the other way…just like Joe Paterno! Amirite!!?!?!?!?!?!?