I know you won’t pay attention to this report out of Georgetown Universitybecause it was probably written by a bunch of pinko liberal hippies. Maybe you should though. Please
Governor Darth Bentley, read this report. Take some time to think about investing in education. Maybe you could, gasp, raise property taxes for absentee landlords in the black belt. Or maybe you could bring property taxes in line with something approaching a standard that was in effect in the 1980’s in the rest of the country. Maybe you could stop bending over ass backward and taking it up the rear to bring in industrial ventures. See:
Alabama is being hurt because it has a concentration in old-line industries like manufacturing and natural resources, where productivity gains will continue to slow job creation.
Sigh. I don’t know why I bother. It’s only a matter of time before one of your interns gets on twitter and announces that Alabama is bringing in some cotton conglomerate and Alabama is going to try really hard to be the cotton king again, all Alabama had to do was insure that the conglomerate never pays taxes, the state delivers 400 pounds of salted meat on a monthly schedule and that every black family in the state must donate their first born child to the effort.
Sigh. You have such promise Alabama. Maybe all you need is someone who isn’t an asshole in charge.
Oh lord. This photo photoshops itself:
(you should feel much shame if you understand this one)