Alston Noah: UA Dummy

Oh man, UA Grad Alston Noah is singlehandedly putting every JoePa apologist to shame with this. You see he’s trying to raise money for Penn State. Is he raising money for Sandusky’s victims? No. Is he raising money for other victims of childhood sexual abuse? No. Is he trying to raise awareness? No.

He is, fuck I can’t even type this myself. I’ll let Alston (sidebar: what the fuck hell kind of name is Alston?) speak for himself:

It is important to college football Penn State return to an atheletic powerhouse as soon as possible. The NCAA has spoken but so many innocent fans and players were punished for the criminal acts of one.

This is so misguided and dunderheaded that I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like this guy realized there was a shameful, awful thing going on in the national media and this guy felt bad because Alabama hadn’t embarrassed itself in two weeks. This guy is a fucktard of the highest order. I just don’t even know.

Here is the link for his “fundraiser.” I’m only posting this here so you can go tell this guy what a fucking dumbass he is. Please, for the love of all things holy, do not follow his mother’s example by giving him money.

Props to theBgrass for the tip.

Edit, here’s this guy’s doucheface:

(you can’t see them, but trust us his thumbs are pointing at himself.)

Edit: Ok, I really can’t let this go. I read some more of this dummy’s nonsense about this campaign. It could be construed that he wants this money to benefit the university. Granted this is giving this guy way too much credit what with his reference to making Penn State “an NCAA powerhouse again.” But he does want the money to be given to the president of their SGA, brilliant, to forward “Penn State’s mission.” This is where the bullshit logic that football is so entrenched in a university that without a football team the school could not possibly survive. I hate to shit on your parade Alston, but Penn State has a $1.708 Billion endowment. Yes, that is billion. Academics at Penn State are not going to suffer. Sure, promising students may choose to go elsewhere as a result of this black eye, but there will be no lack of funding. Penn State has an enormous system, it’s huge. It makes UA look like a community college. The university has 95,000 students across the entire system. They do not need your money or a football team to survive. This awful tragedy may actually start to place academics first without this bullshit logic that you adhere to that a school without a football team is somehow crippled. If you happen to read this you poor, misguided soul, I urge you to rethink this stupid, stupid idea and direct these funds where they are actually needed: to help these victims recover, to help prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future, to help other victims all over the country.

Update 3: Sigh, people on the twitter think this is a good idea?



This guy nails it:



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