Round Up Carrie and Miranda and the Slutty One and All Your Gal Pals

There’s a martini bar in Tuscaloosa now! Ugh. In a move that further proves my point that Tuscaloosa is spiritually and culturally at least 10 years behind anywhere civilized, someone has opened a martini bar in that Brown’s Corner building. Seriously, is it 1998 in this town? Who the fuck still goes to martini bars? And flavored martinis? Really? Here is the only acceptable martini flavor: martini. If the owners of this place really wanted to be trendy they should have opened a gastropub or a dive bar with really good cocktails (I can’t bring myself to type “speakeasy”, welp did it anyway.) I dunno, maybe this place is going to be a roaring success in a town where 90% of the population thinks bud heavy is a fine beer.

There is good news though, there’s another takeout greek place underneath the martini bar! Because that this town really, really, really needs is another place to get a shitty gyro. Heaven forbid we ever get any sort of ethnic food downtown (vietnamese yo, do it when this place closes) or a decent dining experience that is affordable and is not Carmelo. Nope, we get another place to get a shitty gyro and a tired trend from the 90’s.

Look at it this way, if the martini bar stays open for seven years they’ll be cool in the rest of the world again…maybe?

 

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One thought on “Round Up Carrie and Miranda and the Slutty One and All Your Gal Pals

  1. John says:

    I would argue the only acceptable flavor of martini is gin, but at that point we’re just splitting hairs.

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