Today in Dumb Things Coming to Tuscaloosa

a “major” conhole tournament is coming to Tuscaloosa. Yep, that game bros play on their lawns while their unfixed lab plods around with its testicles flapping in the breeze is coming. A major tournament!

The article keeps referring to this game as a sport. It’s cute when a drinking game is called a sport, but this is not a goddamn sport. If this is a sport so is drinking 14 Bud Heavies and sharting yourself the next morning. Trust me, I’ve done that more than I’ve played cornhole and every time I swear I’ve heard the pulsing tones and inspiration of Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone” as I waddled to the toilet. If cornhole is a sport, so is surviving a $50+ bar tab at Egans. I once had a $51 tab and spent the next sharting myself and only seeing the color green in my left eye.

So, if you’re into things that are “outside the box”, dumb things like flash mobs and anything sponsored by Redbull, this is probably right up your alley. Read the article for details because I’m sure as shit not posting the deets here.


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